I wasted my summer away I think.
I feel extremely lonely.

Fuck this.

Hi, my name is Balla.
I run around Alaina's room at 95 mph and I love to play with socks.


Hello, my name is Alaina and I'd like to start living my life again.

P.S I'd really love this key chain for my future car keys

Music:

-Vib Gyor
-Iron and Wine
-Gossip
-Kings Of Leon


Feelings:

-Lonely
-Bored
-Satisfied (with my tan/weight)


Goals:

-Get my own car since my mom/dad are pathological liars
-Get scholarship money so I can STAY at Elon and not resort to Florida school
-Switch majors?

I love listening to Goo Goo Dolls after a long day (:
I've been running everyday and have dropped 5 lbs in 3 days.
Not bad huh?
Next week I head up to Orlando to play in my last really softball tournament ever. Its going to be pretty emotional, but I'm kinda happy to be ending on this final note.

Ok off to shower. I smell treacherous.

P.S this artist is something finally worth listening to off of iTunes

John Mayer decided that he wanted to remake, "Daughters" but using an electric guitar.
It is so unbelievable that it makes me want to cry.

Mom and Dad have been at it a lot lately, mostly about expenses and what not. It's really taking the worst out of both of them and my house seems to be constantly in havoc. It's not really hitting well for me either :/
I've been trying my hardest in contributing to cleaning and taking care of the house and doing a lot of my Mom's and Dad's favors, but in the end it's beginning to seem like no one is happy.
My grandmother from South America is here and fortunately has been on her best behavior, thank god. For those who don't know what it is like to have a Colombian grandmother, you wouldn't understand the validity of my last statement. Despite the fact that my broken spanish is kinda horrible, she has been pretty easy with me and understands that I would be much rather doing a lot of other things than wake up at 8:00 every morning and chauffeur her all around South Florida. But its all paying off since she's willing to throw down $1000 for my car :)

Not too sure what car I'm going to get, but I'm just extremely happy to be having one. I know its causing extreme and total stress on my parents by adding another expense to the list, but I guess that means I'm going to be working two jobs when I get back to Elon.

Which is another thing I've concluded; I miss Elon. Never thought I would say it, but I'm missing a lot of particular aspects and people. I really intended my summer to be so much more exciting and eventful, but really it would have been almost too ideal to just have Elon kids come here to Miami and have summer HERE. But then again, someone pinch me because that's never going to happen. I'm just pretty exciting and looking forward to moving into my apartment in late August.

Gosh my iTunes is being awesome. It picked a song that I wrote my Senior Farewell paper on.
If only this was a paper journal, for you could see my tear stains when I hear this song.

I'm way more emotional than usual lately btw.
The fact that I'm also menstruating helps.

I better put on my game face, no one likes or is used to a sensitive Alaina.

Haven't updated in a while.
Got a kitten and I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to keep her due to the fact that I have to keep her at my house with my 3 dogs and etc.
Plus, my mom is reaaaallly not keen on me having an animal.
We'll see how that goes though.

So after youtube browsing and being bored, I've concluded that I really want to see Where The Wild Things Are

Wow; Public Enemies sucked reaalllly bad.

I got a whole bunch of string from Pearls today.
Something to keep me busy tomorrow since I get to wait at home and receive my new phone by UPS :)

Sooooo, thursday I'm meeting up with my friend Stephen Azar in Ft.Lauderdale and I'm pretty stoked. He's a pretty cool Elon kid that I met and have had the pleasure in making a pretty good friendship out of. Cannot wait to share a Landshark with him and catch some rays.

And Good Night, Good Riddance (:

You know how sometimes, you have that extreme urge to write whats on your mind, but you have no idea how to span it out or even have it make sense once it is written/typed? Yea, I'm currently sitting in that position.

Drove my grandmother around Miami today. Wasn't too awesome, except I got some stellar Nine West heels for $25 that Camille Belle wore in her Elle spread the other month. I was a pretty happy camper.

It seems like as the days keep rolling by, the realization of how fast life is flying by is smacking me constantly in the face. That really initiative is a lot about how people get things in life, and how fake people are that it makes me want to vomit to an infinite power. But, I'm constantly evalutating myself wondering, "Is something wrong with me? How come no one ever seeks to see how I am lately, or even a hello? Am I that annoying girl no one wants to hang out with? If so, how the fuck did that happen?" I might just be blowing people's minds with how much care I'm straining on this particular subject, but its something that has been bothering me currently.
Bottom line, its outrageous to see how people are and how they treat others, all in a third person perspective.

I know one things for sure: no more of these fake friendships in college, with only like....Celeste, Julia, Kevin, and 2 other people in consideration, because holy shit, not only do the majority of the kids I met suck at keeping in touch, but are so absorbed with how they are socially. Gross Gross Gross.

I miss a lot of people from high school. I was talking to one of my friends and we were just simply talking about how even though some aspects and people sucked in high school, but when it boiled down to it, those were the times of our lives. Never will I forget our 40 person friend group, half of them being the jewish or braniacs of our class, and just having the times of our lives. I remember playing Apples to Apples completely sober at Natalie Romano's house and as 35 people tried to put their input and scream and yell, we had a blast. The consant beach trips with mass amounts of people and the amount of juice boxes that we funneled with alcohol after 3 hours. Even the classes we had all together. We all managed to stay in the same classes, it was ridiculous really, but in a good way. Damn, I miss the majority of those kids.
Some of them I really keep in touch with, but others have seem to dissapear from my life. Some traveling the world and others doing what they do best; school.
I miss you guys a lot.

Other news: I'm on the hunt for a car and it's of course not going to be easy. My mother is being impossible and breaking promises left and right. I'm pretty much spending a lot of my summer catering to my mother and the house, since she's working full time like my dad. But I guess it works out since summer has been less than eventful.

Stoked for the Dave Matthews and Incubus concerts next month. I love both those bands.

However, lately I've been getting really into Iron and Wine and some Ray LaMontagne.
I've always been really big fans, but I guess it takes some swinging in the hammock at 12:30 at night to realize how much you really did love that music.

Well I'm off. It's not like anyone reads this anyway.
Ciao from Miami.

life's good

So my phone finally decided to crash on me today. No longer does my keypad work and it's more than just frustrating. Hopefully I can go by the verizon store and pick up a new one and get this piece of trash phone that no longer functions.

I've been falling in love with this polaroid camera that used to be my moms. Unfortunately it's about $20 for only 10 sheets, but fortunately a girl on my softball team has a father that has cases and cases of polaroid film to get rid of (obviously I'm taking these cases and cases)
Such an indie thing to do huh? But really bottom line, I've kinda had a passion for photography since I was young, so really I don't necessarily care what other people would respond to me in regards to using a camera that was my mothers. It goes right on the shelf with my 35 mm, fisheye, and digital/underwater camera.
Some people collect shoes and magazines.
I collect cameras and archie comics.

Summer has been uneventful in its entirety. I was supposed to be working at the magazine internship, but that didn't work out for some reason. My job at the local pizza place blew because my inconsiderate little sister decided to take the job for herself, when in actuality she doesn't need one, and was intended for myself after much convincing her to stop by the place and get an application for me. Obviously, didn't work out for me in this case.

Thinking I would be attending the beach often this summer, nope. Hurricane weather has bestowed itself every un earthly day and it's for the most part incredibly depressing. Plus the fact that my parents are hesitant about my current car situation, my transportation at the current moment really is in the hands of whether my mom/dad is in a good enough mood to leave the car in the drive way for me in the mornings.

I'm really sick of depending on people though. Depending on friends to actually call me and make plans and not just assume that I really prefer to be sitting at home doing nothing and listening to Pandora's Dave Matthew station for consecutive hours, just saying. People are generally starting to suck, only with the select few. I love how long it takes for someone to realize who real friends are and which ones are full of absolute shit. In this month period of summer, I pretty much have only hung out with 5 friends whom I love to death, and my other awesome friends are living their life by visiting other countries, traveling nation wide, or working hard to get money to be independent from the world. It's frustrating because it feels like I've been temporarly put on the back burner of this commodity. I want to be that sizzling pot that always has something to do, but not that something that always requires a club scene or a fake i.d.
Miami is great, don't get me wrong. But it can either make you or break you.

All I really need is someone who can pop into my life and perhaps do fun things that don't always require a bottle of grey goose or sequined dresses that are made for girls with no boobs/ass. Like bikeride the everglades? Spend the day at the beach? Stargazing at a local park? Boat rides?

And prince charming, where the hell are you huh? Oh whatever, you are probably unexistant.
All I know is that Jason Mraz is doing a fine job in letting me know that I have to love myself.
Thanks boy, you're one of the many reasons why I still lay out in my hammock and write in my journals.

old photographs.

long time no update, but I came across all of my first pictures of when I first got my 35mm.
they're all from my junior year.
made me miss a little bit of high school, for just a smidge though.

kinda miss a few people and stuff.
people just generally suck right now.

but hey, no room to mope.

and lastly, one of my favorites: